What happened when I doubted my Guru

A single doubt can drop you so fast from the top of a mountain to rock bottom. It really isn’t worth it. But we are human, we have thoughts, and with thoughts comes an array of various downfalls. Doubts being one of them. But how to conquer those thoughts? How to stop doubts? What causes it and how can it be prevented? 

Mohanji advises that doubts can be conquered by faith. Increase your faith and doubts fall away. 

Friends I am sharing with you, a story on doubts that came into my mind and what happened thereafter.

I didn’t know much about Mohanji before meeting Him in His physical form. Please do read my article entitled, “Mohanji – a destined meeting”.

The first doubt was, “how can so many people have so much of love for a human being? He can either be a God (Shiva) or a magician”. 

The second doubt was that if He was Shiva, I would no doubt, been drawn to Him, and I didn’t really feel any connection.

The third doubt was during one of the first satsangs with Mohanji, He frankly told the crowd that “when someone is your guru, you know it. You don’t have to ask. So, if anyone asks me “are you my guru?”, I say no”. At this point I felt connected but not 100% connected where I would call Him “my guru”. I would call Him a great guru, or a wonderful master, but not “my guru”.

So I felt bad. “Does this mean He isn’t my guru?” I asked myself. I really would have liked Him to be my guru. But I don’t feel a connection and I can’t fake a connection. Sigh. 

So what happened that ignited that flame and retained that connection? 

One word. “Shiva” 

Through every doubt, one thing remained constant and that is my love for Shiva. 

Whenever I doubted, I would go to Shiva and pray, “Lord you are all I trust, all I have and my only wish is to merge with you, please bring me on the path to you!” 

And that’s it. Just a sincere prayer to the Lord. No entertaining the doubts.

And what happened? 

Shiva (as always, without fail) answers my prayers. Every time I uttered such a straightforward prayer to the Lord, He strengthened my connection to Mohanji! 

Every single time I asked Shiva to take me to Him, my connection to Mohanji grew 100 x more. My love for Him grew. I cried sorely at the thought that I had a silly doubt about Him. 

I realised, I am experiencing a human life, I have a mind. And mind isn’t always your friend especially when engaged in negativity, self-destructive thoughts. I must acknowledge these thoughts and doubts instead of denying it. That way if they pop up, I can go straight to Shiva (again) and He can sort me out. Denial isn’t good. Because by denying the fact that you do have a doubt, you deny yourself the opportunity to solve the problem (doubt).

Ego is another factor. The biggest ego for me and the doubts of my master was, “if you love Shiva sooooo much, how can you doubt Him?”  

“How can you, a Shiv Bhakta, doubt His incarnation?” 

For me, having this ego plus denying it internally did not help me at all. In fact it just make it restless and insecure.  

What helped me to rid myself of doubts and strengthen my connection to my Guru, is faith and total surrender. In a prayer, I poured my heart out to Shiva, expressing these doubts and surrendering everything to Him! Asking Him for nothing else except to guide me to Him and Him alone! Whichever way He felt best! And every time, He brought me back to the path of my guru. Strengthening my connection with Mohanji.

Many people from all around the world are connected to Mohanji. However Mohanji never ever told anyone that He is their guru. He never said that He is greater and/or better than anyone! He never said that He is enlightened, nor asked anyone to follow him or be his disciple! He never invited nor he denied.

So how or why does this connection happen? Like me, other people have also come to Mohanji. According to my experience, a connection to a real master happens when the spiritual seeker is sincere. Like my story that I shared with you above, I only sincerely wished to merge with the Lord, to meet Him (if possible) and to learn from Him, to walk with Him and share His teachings to the world. And that led to connecting to Mohanji.

Mohanji always remained as a reminder of total freedom, even from Himself. He doesn’t encourage nor teach bindings in any way! Teaching total freedom and liberation! He also doesn’t promise heaven or earth, He doesn’t invite or encourage anyone to follow or worship Him. But anyone and everyone who comes to Him, He considers them as family.

To me, Mohanji is a walking, talking forms of complete love at its highest. He IS Love in Abundance in a human form and that is another reason I like to write about my experience with Him on this blog. I have even witnessed people being rude or disrespectful to Him, yet He doesn’t react negatively to their behaviour! Just giving back unconditional love and compassion to all!

No doubt! I have been connected to Mohanji in every lifetime! I would say in EVERY lifetime, in the moments when I had a birth, and even in the moments after death while the soul is not in a body. Because He is all there is. He exists in every cell of my body but also in every part of my soul and in every atom in the universe. We have ALWAYS been connected.

Dear friends, I hope this article has served to inspire you in some way. If you are a true spiritual seeker, a true master will come your way. If doubts enter your mind, remember to soothe and mind with a sincere prayer, instead of watering the seeds of doubt.

Love you